Soup Supper Devotions

March 26, 2020           Lenten Soup Supper Meditation 4

CALL TO WORSHIP

            We are the people of God!

                        We are called in love and compassion into lives that are an act of worship.

In this time, in this space, we reach out to touch and be healed as the Holy Spirit moves

among us.

                        Come Holy Spirit, come! Free us from being judgmental, teach us to see the

                        image of God in each person we encounter; show us how to be kind.

HYMN            “You Are Here”

This hymn from the Lift Up Your Hearts book is a reminder to us that no matter where we are, whether at home or office or church, or wherever, God is there, present with us. And if we open ourselves to that presence, we can feel it, we can know it.  God here with us can heal and save. As I said, the hymn is a prayer and in it we ask God to have God’s way in our lives. We invite the Holy Spirit to come and do the will of the Spirit and know we are changed by it.

PRAYER

Gentle Spirit, as your people we move through life too often denying our frailties. We pretend the hurts we carry from unkind words and actions don’t really matter, yet we can’t let go of them. And we know that we, too, have at times been unkind. Help us to let go of the past. Help us to remember your lovingkindness toward us and empower us to extend your kindness without judgment. Amen

SCRIPTURES:                      

Ephesians 4:32                        Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each

                                                other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1 Thessalonians 5:15               Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but

                                                always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

Luke 6:35                                Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them

                        without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward

                        will be great, and you will be children  of the Most High,

                                because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.      

2 Timothy 2:24                        And the Lord's servants must not quarrel; instead, they

                                                            must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

MEDITATION:    “Kindness? Good idea, except ...”

          What is it that gets in the way of our being kind? If there was nothing to get in the way, no issue with it, we’d be kind all the time, right? But sadly, we’re not. What do you think? What gets in the way of you being kind?  What have you observed in others? What do you think keeps people from being kind to each other?

          Real, legitimate reasons can get in the way of our being kind. Those reasons can have all kinds of variations. Hurts that have been done to us that make us overly cautious about extending ourselves. Past responses from someone in which they seemed to reject our efforts leave us hesitant to put ourselves out there again. Concern that if we are kind, we are enabling a person to continue in negative behavior or lifestyles or that it will look like we are approving of someone when we don’t. Fear that if we’re kind, if we do something to help, they’ll just want more and we’ll get drawn in deeper than we want to be. Sometimes it’s because we’re too tired or busy or distracted or caught up in our own stuff and miss the opportunity. Sometimes, too, we simply don’t see the need in front of us. All of these are logical reasons.

          Rabbi Shapiro (The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness) suggests the greatest obstacle to lovingkindness is anger. I would have thought fear–but fear and anger can be interwined. Shapiro asserts that anger is what happens when the narrow mind doesn’t get its way. Think about a two-year old. When things go their way, they’re fine. When things don’t go their way, anger is often their first response. And it’s hard to be kind when you’re angry. Most of us, though, would be indignant at the suggestion that we act like a two-year-old.

          But that business of not getting your way is sneaky in the subtle ways it can creep out. Getting your own way can be as much about being right, being loved, being appreciated, being accepted, being admired and the like as it is about wanting the toy and being told no. As with a two-year-old, we tend to think the world revolves around us and it’s all about me. It is easy to interpret words and actions as targeted at us and then we react accordingly.

          Shapiro tells of a friend who was overweight and sensitive about it. The friend told Shapiro he was deeply hurt when his kindergarten-age son made a caricature of him. He said, “I am doing my best to lose weight and I often use the phrase ‘green with envy’ when talking about people who can eat whatever they want and not get fat. But my kid drew this grotesque cartoon of me all bloated and green. My wife put it up on the refrigerator. I think she thinks that if I see how my son sees me I won’t go foraging for food. I’m hurt by him and pissed at her.”

          Shapiro asked him, “Did you tell them how you feel?”  “No way. I don’t want them to know they got to me.” “Are you sure you got the drawing right? You know for a fact the picture is you?” “Of course it is me. Big, fat, green, purple suit ...” “Purple suit?” “Yeah, he colored in this messed-up purple suit on me and ...” At this point Shapiro burst out laughing. His friend was not pleased. “Listen,” Shapiro said, “Go ask your son who he drew. It isn’t you. I guarantee it. It’s the Hulk. The Hulk, Bruce Banner, the comic book, the new movie?”

          “You’re kidding,” the friend replied. The anger was gone. He wasn’t the target. He hadn’t been ridiculed by his son, nor was his wife trying to manipulate him. The truth set him free. We are ego centered people and often insecure as well. That combination can lead us to interpret words and actions in a negative way that we think is aimed at diminishing us.

          That was a clue in the story of Shapiro’s friend: “I think she thinks.” When we make assumptions about other people’s words and actions, we can really miss the mark. And isn’t that especially true with those close to us–family? As we’ve been pursuing this topic of kindness, we tend to think of that as being about people a bit more removed from us, if not an actual stranger.

          Kindness is about family as well as strangers. And perhaps in the family setting it has a greater potential for affecting our peace and wellbeing as well as that of the whole family. We tend to take family for granted. They are so much a part of our landscape. You’ve heard the expression, familiarity breeds contempt. When you face the same person across the breakfast table every morning, live with their habits and idiosyncrasies, listen to their whining, patience can wear thin and so can kindness. More than anything, though, I suspect we just don’t think about bringing kindness that close to home.

          A little kindness can go a long way–particularly with family. Give it a try. What kindness would you like from your spouse, your kids, your parents, your siblings? Give that kindness, or an appropriate variation to them and watch the results. Like bread upon the waters, watch the kindness return to you.

                

MEDITATIVE SILENCE

PRAYER

In a world of violence and conflict, it’s easy to lose hope for kindness. Teach us, Father, how to respond in love and not in fear. Teach us what it means to speak with conviction without using words as weapons. Teach us to carry both strength and gentleness, to offer kindness even in our anger, to listen before lashing out. You have given us a spirit of love, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Show us what it means to offer these gifts to our neighbors, families, and leaders with confidence, conviction, and a sound mind. Amen.

HYMN:      “Help Us Accept Each Other”

Had we be able to gather for the Soup Supper devotional, we would have sung this  powerful prayer hymn that asks God to help us love as Jesus did, accepting others as our own kin. It asks for help in believing that we, ourselves are loved and accepted as well.  It asks for help in loving everyone, not just in picking and choosing which ones we will love—even as it recognizes our own human inclinations.

BENEDICTION

          May God bless you with peace in your heart and in your life.

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“The best memory is that which forgets nothing, but injuries. Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust.”        –Persian Proverb

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.

                                                          –Albert Schweitzer

“Whatever you think people are withholding from you–praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on–give it to them. You don’t have it? Just act as if you had it, and it will come. Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. Outflow determines inflow.”            –Eckhart Tolle

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Lenten Soup Supper Meditation 3

March 19, 2020

These Soup Supper meditations were developed as part of our Lenten practice of coming together on Thursday evenings for a simple meal of soup and bread, preceded by a short devotional service in the sanctuary. Those services included responsive liturgy, hymns, and prayers as well as scripture and a meditation. Our theme during the 2020 Lenten season is kindness and we’ve been exploring different ways kindness happens and why.

We began with Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s book, The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness, in which he talked about how we are created in God’s own image and likeness and we bear the name of God. He illustrated it by writing the Hebrew name for God—Yahweh, or YHWH—using the Hebrew letters vertically: yod …hey … vav …hey. Written vertically, they rather look like the human body. He encourages us to see ourselves and others as the image of God—and act accordingly.

That’s about the image of God. He says we have to grow into the likeness of God. It takes intentionality and practice. We are working on that by practicing kindness. At the second Soup Supper service, we linked kindness with our faith, using Jesus’ example of how what we do to the “least of these” is the same as if we’d done it to Jesus himself. We talked about the fact that Jesus feels our pain as if it were his own, so would feel those acts of kindness and compassion as if they were done to him.

In the third of the Soup Supper devotions we will explore not only how being kind is part of our faith journey, but also about how it makes a difference in the lives of the people to whom we extend kindness. We’ll anchor it with the following scriptures:

     Colossians 3:12

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility and patience.

     Galatians 5:22-23a

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

MEDITATION:  “Touched by Kindness” 

          The third Soup Supper meditation was going to be interactive—you were going to do part of the work. You still get to do that, but now you’ll have to rely on just your own response rather than the collective response.

          I want you to think for a minute about a time that someone was kind to you. Since it’s just you, go ahead and list some of them on a sheet of paper. If you’ve recalled several, I would point out that it’s obvious that these acts of kindness were meaningful for you because you still remember them.

          Pick one and pull it fully from your memory so that it is vivid for you. Hold it in your mind. Think about what was going on for you in your life at that time. Think especially about how it made you feel. Let yourself feel it again. Got it?

          When someone extended that act of kindness to you, how did it make you feel? Not just the word ‘good’, but what emotions did it evoke? How did it touch you? How did it make a difference in your life? Why was it important or valuable to you at just that time? How did it make you feel about the person who was kind? How did it make you feel about yourself? Go ahead and do that for other kind acts on your list.

          Acts of kindness. Some were just little things that didn’t take much by way of time and effort yet touched you in meaningful ways. Some, of course, were bigger acts of kindness that cost the person extending it more in money, time, energy, emotion or effort. All had their impact.

          If you’re having a really crappy day and everything seems to be going wrong or demanding too much from you or making you feel bad about yourself and someone comes along and does something kind–specifically for you–it can be a game changer.

          If you’re a person whose whole life is typically in the trash, where things seldom seem to go in your favor, where you feel the weight of the world crushing down on you, when you don’t know how you’ll drum up the energy or the resources to get through the next day, when your life is devoid of hope, of a reason to even get up in the morning, a kind act can change how you view the world and yourself. Someone who recently expressed gratitude for kindness extended told me, “It made me feel like I matter.”

          Isn’t that exactly what Jesus wants, for us to feel we matter, for everyone to feel that they matter? And doing things that make people feel like they matter, is that not love? And didn’t Jesus give us that commandment to love–and not just to love, but to love others as Jesus has loved us. What would that be like?  It would be loving the other as they are without expecting them to meet some condition we’ve set or, in gratitude for our act of kindness, to then change their lives to meet our expectations. If we love like Jesus, doesn’t it mean loving no matter what the other person has done in the past, no matter their failings, no matter anything. Just love. Isn’t that how Jesus loves us?

          Love is not always automatic. Kindness either. Oh, we’d like to think we’re kind–most of the time. And we work it in when we can. When we’ve got time. When there’s not something else on our plate. When we’re not too tired. When we’re not busy doing God’s work. Sometimes, it’s an awful lot like dieting and exercise. We have to work at it. We have to plan it. We have to be intentional. We have to start out small and work up. We have to do it on a daily basis.

          That is the challenge I extend to you through the rest of the Lenten season. Practice kindness. Every day. Spontaneous is great. But spontaneous exercise doesn’t build the habit of exercise. Be intentional. Keep a list if that helps. Make a reminder to tape to your mirror. Put it on your calendar. Whatever it takes to make it a reality for you so that you touch someone’s life in ways that matter.

          Colossians says we put on kindness like a garment, surrounding ourselves in it. Galatians says the Spirit has gifted us with kindness so we can then share that gift. Look at your list. This is what someone has done for you. Can you offer others similar memories of kindness?

PRAYER

Tender God, thank you for all the people who have been kind to us. Thank you for the ways those acts of kindness touched our lives and gave us encouragement and hope. Give us the courage to live within your grace so that we can extend kindness to those we encounter. Guide us to words and actions that will show those we encounter that they truly matter, for they, too, bear your image. Amen.

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QUOTES   

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”     –Leo Buscaglia        

“Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person . . . One kind word has a wonderful way of turning into many.”    –Fred Rogers             

“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show for any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Kindness covers all of my political beliefs.               – Robert [Roger] Ebert, film critic

“To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.”         –Mahatma Ghandi